Twenty-Three Tips to Help You Fake It Better

October 12, 2007

Recently, a blog in my newsreader has had a hard time of blending in its paid links. They’re so painfully obvious, my soul cringes. But instead of getting on a moral high horse, I’ve decided to help you bloggers who have a hard time blurring the lines of reality.

Here are tips to help you Fake It:

1. Take acting classes
2. Read books on creative writing
3. Learn to beat the lie detector
4. Become the best Balderdash player in the neighborhood
5. Watch a bunch of old ‘Alias’ episodes
6. Read the works of Jayson Blair
7. Play a lot of poker
8. Study improv
9. Make Comedy Central your primary news source
10. Watch a Presidential debate. Either party will do.
11. Attend a Congressional hearing on the use of steroids in sports
12. Believe celebrities when they say “It’s just an honor to be nominated.”
13. Observe said celebrities facial expressions when they lose
14. Go to a bar and listen to what people say upon meeting each other for the first time. Emulate.
15. Get breast implants.
16. Donate to the OJ Simpson Legal Defense Fund
17. Read the works of James Frey
18. Create an alter ego
19. Sit in a courtroom and believe everything you hear
20. Go to New York City and buy a Prada knockoff
21. Always do the opposite of what you say you’re going to do
22. Be late to work every day. Come up with a new excuse every day. Or perfect the same excuse - traffic, same spot everyday.
23. Wear electronic art in Boston